FOOMTHEMES
mattwt:

*presses button*

mattwt:

*presses button*

me: should i make a sarcastic comment or not

unclefather:

when u accidentally open ur front camera and ur sitting there like

image

agentcarolinainthemorning:

waluigiology:

i just figured out the perfect murder

kill someone and bury them in their own garden

that way if the police find them they’ll think it was a suicide

#welp looks like the victim committed suicide and promptly buried themselves in their garden #how considerate of them

Anonymous
An alligator dies. Its tombstone reads "See you later."

iguanamouth:

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wow im sad now

I found my ‘journal’ from Grade Five, Six and Seven I have never wanted to punch my past self more than I do right now

On the other hand I now know exactly when my handwriting went from ‘awkward crooked print-cursive’ to ‘cursive so messy I understand Math better than this shit”

I’m also feeling extremely nostalgic because I remember every single instance where I wrote in those journals

Wow I guess they kind of did fulfil their purpose of bringing back PAINFUL CRINGE-WORTHY MEMORIES FROM MIDDLE SCHOOL HELL (i was apparently a very dramatic child WHO ALSO WROTE A LOT MORE SELF-INSERTS THAN FUCKING NECESSARY)

I’m burning these notebooks I swear to god

egberts:

driving is so dangerous ur literally controlling a giant metal contraption with a circle and some foot buttons

me: I'm pretty sure I would marry every single Avenger.
obnoxious friend: Black Widow is an Avenger.
me: Did I fucking stutter?

theirtinywings:

samjohnssonvt:

gryphonrhi:

thezhenger:

chris control your goddamn face you have just gone through an extremely painful super-serum transformation you did not just have the diddly doo orgasm

…actually, at this point, Steve’s just now experiencing the sudden absence of both recent extreme pain and long-term low level pain.  He’s probably so high on endorphins that the expression is completely accurate.

Also, he was asthmatic. This is the first time in twenty years that his lungs work. Ever had an oxygen high?

Might not be an O-face folks, but homeboys high as a kite.